Today

This morning I came out of the shelter after breakfast and saw Maurice sitting there. Maurice is a black man. Something about him strikes me always. I think it is his open heart. He is simple. I feel a purity about him. I am well-dressed today. I feel well-dressed these days mostly. It is just grace. I feel that I don't look like a homeless person. I don't let myself go. Others in shelter don't seem to care much about how they walk around. I wonder if they think I feel superior to them. I wonder if I do sometimes.
I came out and I saw Maurice and went and greeted him, first in French, because I think he is French for some reason, then in German, then in English. I don't know why. He said he was tired. I said, "Oh". He had been up all night. "Why?" He didn't get a room at the shelter last night, so he was walking the streets. Here is a young man who does not look at all like someone you would think of as a homeless person. Immediately I felt a kind of shame. I was well rested. I had bathed, washed my clothes, eaten. I had everything. I was in good shape. I am not thinking of all the Maurices when I am in good shape. I left him with some words like, "have a nice shower." Of all things! It seemed crass of me. I went on and then almost turned back. I wanted to speak to him more, ask him about his experience of the night in the streets of Austin. Then I said, "No, I have turned down this ally. I will not go back. I will see him perhaps another time." I was shocked at my own behavior. Because, now that I am in a building, now that I have a place to go every day, I don't think any more about the others who don't.
I went walking then and went down to the river. There I found that the famous river walk of Austin is polluted very much with human piss. It stinks near the bridges. I saw so and so many homeless people asleep on the ground. I did not want to walk under the bridge because of the stink of it. I went up and around on the street instead. Finally I sat and chanted the Gita. That brought at least some feeling of unattachment. Walking I saw a man, I heard him actually. He had a 5 gallon plastic bucket around his neck like a drum and he was drumming and clicking with sticks. He was good. Again I marvel at the talent I see roaming around the streets.
After chanting I wanted to go up to the clinic. I went there but the door was closed. So I went to the ER and used the bathroom, then I left. I went down to the bridge. There is a place at the end of 6th Street under I35 where they hold a church service every Sunday for the homeless. They have some clothing there, coffee or lemonade, and some sweet roles. I felt hungry. I went and spoke to the women there. They were not ready yet. I think at first they did not also think I was homeless. I look too good to be homeless. I asked them if they needed any help. No, they said, twice. There is no cross-over. We are in two categories, the helpers and the helped. And never the twain shall meet.
I saw other people I know there. I had my cinnamon role and lemonade and then left with Heather, the woman from the "Sally" single women's dorm who has cancer. She is all red, her neck is stiff. She complains a lot.
I saw James, who is and Ex of Heather. He lives near Austin community college in the woods in a tent. He is content with very little. He also told me all about his medical condition. It is a preoccupation of the homeless, their doctors and meds, ops and so on.
I didn't know what to do today. I didn't want to go into the ARCH to use the computer. I stayed out and went to the park. There I started to write this story. but it is not going as well as it was in the morning. In the morning there was a totally different feeling. Now it feels as if it is coming from the mental. As is this whole thing, as well. Just a report, no soul in it.
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what I really wanted to say the whole time. I feel that there is no sense in all this. Yesterday I was in the park and watching why uniformed cops in shorts on bicycles with those dinosaur pointed ptheradactyl helmets gave homeless people $200 citations for sleeping in the park.
I think, this is not logical. There has to be a way to get this problem to some resolution. I spoke to James. I told him, I have to find the right person or people to hear this.
What needs to happen is something else. they have this wonderful river walk which is completely spoiled. They are just punishing, punishing, punishing the homeless. Why don't they do some other thing?
Why don't they make a camp somewhere where homeless people can go and live. For all I care they could live outside in tent cities. Then at least it would be all in one spot, contained as it were. Then the people could all focus their efforts in one area. Why don't they start some public works projects and try to involve transient people in these a la Woergl? They could develop their own currency for this project.
I have to set up some kind of a plan and try to get someone to look it over.
Make a tent city. Get businesses to donate. Set up a local currency to pay these people for their work. Set up little shops for them to trade with each other using that local scrip note.
Set up plumbing, where people can wash, keep clean, have some dignity, do their laundry.
Why don't we want to give dignity to the homeless? Well, we have to have something to scare the young people into the army so that we can have our wars, don't we? Otherwise, big biz would no longer rule.
I stepped into the Presbyterian church for a service here on 8th street this morning. I just walked in. They have all this talk about equality, etc. It seems all empty to me. the only thing I really liked was to sing the songs. I found out again this morning, I have a good voice and I love to sing, even if it is these bogus christian hymns.
In the prayer requests, a lot of people who have cancer or who have lost relatives and notably, someone who is worried about their 15 year old sick cat. They mentioned the homeless once, too. The sick cat got more air time, though.
It would be so easy to solve this homeless problem, so easy! Just finally decide that all human life deserves dignity. That is all there is to it. But no, we have to deny dignity in order to scare others, apparently, otherwise we will not have enough cannon fodder. They also prayed for the troops to come homes soon. If they only knew...

and the whole time today I think of Ashton... OM